my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
