Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
