rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
