im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Is her dick bigger than yours?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
