38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
