If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
