38 yer olds are good kisserssss
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
