DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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