My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
