So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Let's get the cat blown out
you never un-have a 4some
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
