So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
