from now on my penis is your penis
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
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