She is in my trunk
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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