Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
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It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
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Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
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