normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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