im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Randomize
