I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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