If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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