Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
