my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
