If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
you inspire me to be a worse person
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
