well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
