I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
