i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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