I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
