are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
