tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
