You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
