I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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