Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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