just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
