I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
