Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Randomize
