babies were throwing up all over the place
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
