I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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