Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I have post one night stand depression
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