think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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