Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
