I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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