It's like God shit irony all over that family
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
