Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
you win again, gameday.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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