So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
