It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
