that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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