I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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