would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
