Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
