OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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