Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
