My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
