I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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