I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
