I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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