soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
