what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
