we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
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Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
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SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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