She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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