ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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