So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
