Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize