help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
