i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
