if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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