hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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